


OUR Home?!

by amlovabledeathmo



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Durins live, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Fix-It, M/M, No one ring, Thilbo, UA (Universe Alterations), bagginshield, non Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9874748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amlovabledeathmo/pseuds/amlovabledeathmo
Summary: Mostly starts at the carrock. Though Bilbo has been discreetly flirting with Thorin and watching him and been at least half in love with him since Thorin sang in his house. No One Ring just happiness.





	1. Crash course in Hobbit courting

Up till the thunder battle things had been okay if you asked Bilbo. Yes Thorin certainly was emotionally constipated and had trouble with affection most obviously but he had accepted the blackberry scones in Rivendale and later been quite complimentary of them. As far as Bilbo had been concerned that was a great start to a courtship, well more than he hoped, to be honest he expected Thorin to throw them in his face for being so forward.   
But then came the thunder battle and those hurtful words, yes those ones, and now Bilbo wasn't so sure maybe dwarrow did things differently? Though he knew those words wouldn't have hurt so much if he didn't care, why was he so foolish as to have fallen in love with a sad dwarf king singing a sad song?   
Before he could even properly worry about the state of their courtship they ended up in goblin tunnels and dealt with the fight to get out and worse than that (though Bilbo never thought he'd say something was worse than a horde of goblins) Azog and wargs. Maybe the wargs were worse than Azog but it Azog that commanded them and caused his Thorin to lose himself in rage and recklessly charge.   
Now see Bilbo would never consider himself brave, no his mother was brave not him, but you don't need bravery when you are worried for the life of one you love. There was no way NO WAY that filthy orc with his filthy orc blade was going to take his dwarf's head! So he charged and he stabbed and he stood against The Pale Orc yelling obscenities, really his father would have had his tongue if he heard him speak that way.  
When Bilbo was sure this was it, they were going to go out in flames and orc blood the eagles came. Although hobbits were generally not for heights the eagles were soft and felt sturdy plus they were safe(ish). As the eagles landed Bilbo was sure to thank them profusely for their help before joining the huddle around Thorin and Gandalf did Gandalfy stuff.   
Then came those other hurtful words, yes those other ones, and before Bilbo quite had the chance to yell (or cry, probably cry) he was swept up in a hug, a lovely warm hug. The hug only ended because some grumpy king had to catch sight of that blasted hunk of rock, Bilbo was rather sure he did not like that mountain, no if it was going to steal time from his hugs he didn't like it at all. Which brings us to the beginning of the story, The company standing upon the Carrock gazing in wonder (and in Bilbo's case hate) at Erebor in the distance.   
Thorin turned to Bilbo and grinned (making for a slightly swooning hobbit) "There it is, Erebor, our home."   
"OUR home?!" Bilbo burst out, rather shocked and wanting to make sure he'd heard right.   
"Yes our home."   
"Oh, oh my Thorin I never expected you to be so bold, that is I had hoped we might get there one day but I never thought so soon and certainly not after thunder battle, well I don't .....Yes Thorin oh yes of course! I need to find the right plants can't go accepting without them." And Bilbo hurried off, leaving a group of Dwarrow and one wizard staring after him, the former in confusion, the latter in amusment.   
"What did you do uncle?" "Why is our hobbit running around for plants" Fili and Kili tripped over themselves wondering what their uncle had been keeping from them.   
"I don't.....Gandalf! What is happening, why are you smiling? Explain!" Thorin rounded on the wizard that had brought the hobbit.   
"Well congratulations on your engagement dear Thorin, I never thought you'd be the one to propose and certainly not so boldly. You can't do any better than our dear Bilbo." Gandalf laughed clapping Thorin on the shoulder.   
"ENGAGEMENT!" Thirteen Dwarrow voices shouted almost in unison. Now Balin the most level headed and most diplomatic (if you asked him anyway) decided that Gandalf had a good bit more explaining to do "Now Gandalf, what are you going on about engagement, I have not even seen signs of a courtship much less one serious enough for an engagement. I think you owe us some explanation old friend."   
"Hmm you don't know? This is not a good thing. You see hobbits court with flowers and more seriously with food, I know Bilbo gave Thorin some blackberry scones in Rivendale and Thorin accepted them and complimented them which to a hobbit shows that you both accept the courtship and are quite interested in the other hobbit. Even more importantly telling one you are courting that a place is our home is the most serious proposal a hobbit can issue, there is no breaking it if you say yes and no going back to dating or even being friends if you say no. I thought you had taken my advice and learned a bit about hobbits before we started this quest. This is a sticky situation, you will have to deal with it Thorin." Gandalf glowered and walked off to do wizardy things no doubt. Muttering about stubborn dwarrow being to proud to learn about other races.   
After Gandalf's exit all the dwarrow were thinking over what they had just learned and Ori was busy scribbling it down in his journal, the silence was broken when Kili pipped up "So is Bilbo our uncle now?"


	2. Grumpy Kings and Cute Hobbit Noses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin means to correct the misunderstanding but Bilbo is too cute with his hobbit nose.

The company made their way down the Carrock to find a spot to camp for the night. Thorin was left alone to trail behind them and try to find some way to tell Bilbo that it was all a misunderstanding. I mean how could he, a dwarf, be expected to know hobbit courting customs. Yes he is a king and as Balin says a king should learn about other races before dealing with them but isn't reclaiming a home from a dragon more important? Plus it's not like any of the others had learned about hobbit culture, well maybe Ori but apparently not about courting. Also there was no way any of them would help him in this case, they were all very fond of the hobbit (yes even Dwalin). 

Bilbo is waiting at the bottom of the steps well large dents in the rock but steps is easier to say. Of course Bilbo is grinning and scrunching up that way to cute nose. 

"Thorin. I'm sorry I rushed down here wanting to get started on the crown but I realized I don't know your favorite flower. Now I can hardly go about making a crown for you if I don't get your favorite flower can I?" Bilbo met Thorin at the bottom stair, grabbing his hand. 

"Uh. I suppose not Master Baggins." What did crowns and flowers have to do with eachother?

"Really Thorin, after a proposal like that,"(Of course Bilbo would blush adorably all the way to the pointed tips of his little ears, that look nothing like elf ears, not at all as they were adorable and elf ears were hateful just like the rest of them) "I would think we are on a first name basis not Master and such." Bilbo squeezed his hand a bit pulling him along to where the others were setting up for the night. 

"Yes I suppose we are Bilbo" Well this talk had not gone at all like Thorin had planned (well tried to plan).

"So Thorin dear what is your favorite flower?" Bilbo beamed up at him 

How could Thorin be expected to resist that? Surely no one could blame him for not wanting to make that little twitchy nose sniffle and those adorable eyes fill with tears. "My mother used to grow some flowers in a glass room, they were bushes with big colorful flowers that had a stem sticking out the middle, I'm afraid I no longer remember what they were called." That was the best Bilbo was going to get, flowers weren't really something he paid attention to, if his mother hadn't liked them so much he wouldn't even have remembered those. 

"Well that is a bit difficult, if she grew them in a glass room they were probably from a warm climate. I doubt it was a stem also probably the pistil..." Bilbo trailed off wrinkling his nose before glancing up at Thorin "Do you think Balin might remember the name?"

Thorin shrugged, how would he know if Balin could remember that. Flowers were really not something generally dealt with by dwarrow unless they were looking at one to reproduce in metal and gems. Bilbo huffed at him and wandered over to ask Balin. Before he was halfway across the camp Fili and Kili snuggled up to either side of their uncle, faces of innocence (fake!).

"So Uncle, how'd the talk go with Mister Boggins? He doesn't look very upset to me, what do you think Fili?" "Oh no dear brother Bilbo does not look at all upset, I wonder why if Uncle cruelly broke his little hobbity heart." "Maybe poor Bilbo is just putting on a brave face for the rest of us." "He would wouldn't he Kili, with how brave and caring he is, after all he did defend Uncle from orcs, even if he was clumsy and just about got himself killed." Now that was a bucket of ice water down Thorin's back, his..the hobbit impaled on a filthy orcs filthy blade. How dare they even think such a thing.

"Boys!" At least they stopped talking but those stinking faces both screamed 'yes what's the matter Uncle' just like when they were dwarflings caught dipping Dwalins comb in dye powder. "What Bilbo and I do is none of your concern. However I may have found that I am currently not in the position to retract my proposal, however accidental." With that the terrors were all smiles and racing across camp shouting for Uncle Bilbo to teach them about hobbits.


	3. The Bear and the Bunny and a Pinch of Jealousy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beorn is quite taken with the "little bunny", Thorin is not amused.

The next morning found the company gathering what little supplies they had left and eating whatever the plants were that Bilbo gave them insisting they were indeed food ('food for a pig' Dwalin grumbled). When Gandalf informed them that there was a house nearby that they could seek aid at and refused to give more details, everyone was suspicious. Wizards and their wizardy secrets. As they started journeying once again Bilbo caught up with Thorin and clasped his hand, grinning when Thorin startled. Now if Thorin turned into a ruby, no one was stupid enough to mention it (no not even the lovely terrors). 

Unfortunately Balin could not remember the name of The Flower either just that it came from a warm, humid environment and was hard to get. Since hobbits don't travel it was most probable that Bilbo had never seen and perhaps never even heard of The Flower. While it was quite rude to not give an acceptance crown within the week, it just was impossible right now. After all one did not make an acceptance crown without their intended's favorite flower. Bilbo thought on his problem for quite a while, actually until he walked into Gandalf who had stopped for no reason whatsoever that he could see. 

"Our host is not particularly fond of dwarves, I will take Bilbo and try to get us aid." Gandalf ushered Bilbo towards a gate before looking back at the dwarrow "Stay here until we call for you." 

"Tellin' us to stay like that, what's he think we are, pups?" Gloin grumbled. 

 

Bilbo could see the sense in leaving the heavily armored and full of weapons dwarrow behind when they started to approach the large, large man. They didn't need him to think they were attacking. 

"Who are you and what do you want?" the giant (well not as big as the stone giants but still) asked, rather rudely if Bilbo was to be honest. 

Gandalf actually looked frightened and at a loss for words so Bilbo spoke "I am Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End and this is Gandalf. My companions and I are asking for aid. We have lost much in the past three or so days. Dealing with stone giants, goblins, orcs, and wargs is not very good for one's health." 

" Companions? I only see one other besides you, little bunny." Grumbled the giant

"Ah well you see there are quite a number of us, 13 others and we did not want you to think we were attacking. Gandalf also said you weren't fond of dwarrow." Bilbo stammered. 

"Hmmm. I am not fond of dwarves, no, but I like orcs even less. If you have truly fought them I can offer you shelter and food for the night, though I want the story in exchange." Seemed reasonable, after all a story was something they had unlike most things one would typically pay with. 

"Thank you Master....I'm afraid I don't know your name." He looked up questioningly. 

"You can call me Beorn little bunny. I suggest you gather your companions before they think something has happened and this Gandalf can begin the story." Gandalf nodded when Beorn turned to him. Bilbo could hear him start telling about a fussy stubborn hobbit as he came upon the gate. 

"Master Beorn has agreed to host us for the night." He startled a number of the dwarrow, hobbits were quiet after all. Bilbo could feel the company tense up around him as they approached Beorn. He was after all huge and had admitted to not liking dwarves, though Bilbo thought it best not to mention that. Beorn looked up when they came to a stop next to Gandalf who paused his story. The large man seemed to count them as if to verify that at least part of the story was true, when he was satisfied he gestured towards the house and turned his attention back to Gandalf. Not exactly a warm welcome but they were tired and hungry so it was good enough (plus stubborn majestic kings still needed to have their wounds tended). 

They spent a restful few days at Beorn's, that is if you weren't a jealous king glowering at the giant man every time he called Bilbo little bunny and picked him up to sit on his shoulder while they talked. If was quite rude really, he wasn't jealous just offended on Bilbo's behalf for being handled like a pet. If Thorin's wounds were healed he could pick Bilbo up too, though it would be better if there was less clothing, and that thought was firmly slammed away and the glower resumed.


	4. Thranduil You are a KING now act like it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo yells at Thranduil, and Thorin. Tentative alliance formed because Bilbo is not dealing with this fauntling behavior from two kings.

Mirkwood was about as pleasant as it sounded, which is not at all. Now Bilbo may not have been the best gardener in the Shire but even he could feel how sick the plants were. It physically hurt to smell and feel the sickness of the forest, but there was not much Bilbo could do on his own besides cover his nose and trudge on. For the first time in admittedly quite a long while he missed other hobbits. If the whole Shire had come with him they might be able to do something about the blasted forest. 

The company had been following the stupid path in the stupid forest for a stupid amount of time, you could ask any one of them and they would tell you that. The boys were even frowning now, Kili even resembled Thorin with his glares and brooding. In fact Ori was super twitchy and snapped at whoever tried to talk to him, he hadn't been able to write or draw in the gloom of the trees. Many of the dwarrow muttered about wanting to pee in peace without feeling like the trees were staring disapprovingly. Actually it was a bit of a surprise that nobody had any bruises or broken bones from how jumpy they were. Which did not improve when they realized their food and water stores were getting quite low with no end of trees in sight. 

When the spiders attacked it was almost a blessing. They still had enough energy to fight and more than enough anger and tension to burn off, even Bilbo. And if at least one of them screamed rather high pitched and squeaky that was okay since no one really knew who had done it, I mean really giant house size spiders, who is not going to scream like that. The real problem was that more spiders showed up, they had already taken out eight or more when another swarm came, followed by elves. Thorin would rather have the spiders than the elves, Bilbo was more than happy to see the elves until their weapons were taken away (even his little sting) and they were marched like prisoners though they remained unbound. 

By the time they reached the elven king, Bilbo was tired, hungry, and sore. In other words he was a very grumpy hobbit. 

When they were marched into the throne room there was Tranduil draped across his throne like a piece of fabric, draped across, really did he not have bones? Now things might have gone differently if Thranduil said something else but no he spoke rather rudely and that was the FINAL STRAW for Bilbo. 

"Why have you trespassed in my realm Thorin son of Thrain. Surely you would not be stupid enough to be trying to go wake a dragon for mere greed." The king sneered. Looking over the company with disdain. "If you were I imagine you would have an army not a ragged group or sellswords and thieves. Unless your kin found your journey to be a suicidal mission not worth their lives or time." 

Bilbo could see the company getting more agitated as Thranduil spoke. He himself was done with this. Before the elven king could get out another word Bilbo stepped forward "Is this any way to greet the King of Durin's folk!? You sit up straight as is befitting one of your station. Did your mother never teach you manners or courtly behavior? You are not a faunt you are a king, now act like it!" Bilbo lectured with his little hobbit finger wagging. The entire room had grown silent as he lectured (yes lectured) KING Thranduil. This little child thing had the never to talk back to a king and berate him for manners, it was quite a sight. What was even more surprising was how Thranduil did in fact sit up straight (the hobbit's voice was much to similar to his grandmother's for him to ignore). "Now if you are done misbehaving you will offer us food and rooms for the night. I am much to hungry to deal with this right now!" His voice may have gone shrill at the end but hobbits were not meant to go this long with such a small amount of food, or baths. 

After a bit of staring Thranduil acquiesced "We will meet tomorrow before noon to discuss then. The guards will show you to some rooms and food will be brought to you. Also do take advantage of the baths." He sniffed trying for one last shot but turned a bit red at the glower BIlbo aimed at him. 

It was in everyone's best interest to not mention how agreeable their king had become nor how quickly it had happened. 

 

When the company were ushered into a room (with a connecting bath) Thorin decided to open his mouth, and promptly regretted it. "We should not be accepting hospitality from the elves" and if anyone had ever managed to make hospitality sound the same as torture it was certainly the grumpy dwarf king, "They would kill us in our sleep or throw us in the dungeons as soon as our guard is down."

"Thorin love, SHUT UP AND GET IN THE BATH!" Bilbo yelled pointing "We will accept their hospitality and tomorrow you WILL be civil when we talk to Thranduil. This will be a diplomatic discussion, I suppose you remember how to have those don't you? Oh a fruit bowl! How lovely." 

When Bilbo marched over to the fruit bowl to start devouring the contents not just Thorin scuttled off to the baths, none of them wanted to be on the other side of the hobbity finger. Grumpy hobbits were a lot more frightening than they had any right to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any tips or ideas or anything I'd love to hear them. Also constructive criticisms. Might not follow them, but I'd appreciate them all the same.


	5. Hobbits and ridiculous Dwarves and Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Down to buisness, how they had ever managed an alliance without help was beyond Bilbo.

It was a much happier hobbit that attended the meeting the next day. Food alone would have been enough to put him a good mood but when you add a bath and a soft bed, well you got a perfectly agreeable hobbit prone to outbursts of happy whistling. 

"Ahh King Thranduil. I would like to apologize for my temper earlier, I'm sure you understand the stress of long travel. I am Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End of the Shire. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." The happy hobbit bowed, elbowing Thorin discreetly for his muttered 'My sword would be pleased to make his acquaintance'.

"Greetings Bilbo Baggins. I would like to know why you and company were trespassing on my land." Wasn't really a question, more a demand really, but then he was a king. 

Since Bilbo had been quite clever so far he had already told Thorin he would handle talking to Tranduil as long as Thorin kept his big mouth under control. Honestly Thorin was more than willing to let BIlbo do all the talking, he just wasn't happy he had to be there for it. Therefore it was Bilbo who answered. "Well we did not know that the road was private, last we heard it was public domain for use of traveling, which we are. Though I think what you really mean is where are we going not why we were on the road. Hmm, we, the company of Thorin Oakenshield King of Durin's Folk, are indeed heading to Erebor to try and reclaim it." There were a number of gasps from the dwarrow and a smug look from the elven king at this. "Yet it is not for the reason you think" Bilbo continued, ignoring his scandalized family, "we are going to get back our home, the place we belong from a nasty serpentine infestation, not out of mere greed."

"So you are admitting to risking waking the dragon and reeking havoc upon us and Laketown? You would endanger us for a small chance at taking back what once belonged to these dwarves?' Thranduil asked or rather accused. "I see the dwarves are as selfish and greedy as ever, valuing no life higher than their gold." 

Bilbo sighed well mentally sighed. How these two realms had ever gotten along was far beyond him. "As I have already stated King Thranduil we are not valuing gold above life, we are valuing the lives of our people as worth the risk to ourselves. You also forget that whether we wake the dragon or not is of little consequence. While I may not know much about dragons I do know that they wake every 65 or so years to feed, since it has been 60 years since he was seen last it is just about time for him to wake anyway. At least we have a chance of defeating him before he wakes." 

There was quite an outburst of noise when Bilbo quit speaking, among both the elves and the dwarrow. Though really the only word that was discernible was dragon. 

"What do you mean dragons wake every 65 years!?" Tranduil thundered, springing from his chair. It seemed rather strange to Bilbo that an elf would be confused by that. After all he was but a simple hobbit from the Shire, how would he know something about the world that they didn't. 

"I have read many texts, a fair number from the histories of men, and quite a few record dragon attacks from dragons that were presumed dead every 60 to 70 years. Surely with all the knowledge the elves have gathered you also have noticed this pattern. I had hoped that you would know of a way to kill Smaug before he woke, none of the texts ever mentioned a way besides to use a black arrow as they flew overhead, but I hope it doesn't come to that." Bilbo glanced around the room, trying to find some answer. Instead all he saw was fear, it seems that even immortal beings known for grace and beauty were afraid of a giant (fire-breathing) flying lizard. 

Thranduil looked perhaps the most stricken "No that isn't possible." He murmured almost to quiet for others to hear. "NO I choose to protect my people by not fighting the dragon, I left Smaug to take Erebor so my people would be safe and now you tell me that my choice did not save their lives but instead just bought a scant few years." Tranduil was staring at Thorin now, horror written across his elegant face. "So many dead."

"I think we should take a break, if that is okay with both kings. I am just a hobbit after all, not used to long meetings. Plus it rather seems like time for some tea yes?" Bilbo interrupted. Hoping it would be enough to have some time for everyone to digest this apparently new information (and Thranduil's apparent sorrow at seeing many dwarfs die when Thorin had always felt he'd must have enjoyed it). 

Thranduil dismissed them all with a wave as another elf bustled over to a cabinet, retrieving a bottle of wine and not even bothering with a cup when he handed it to his king.


	6. Forgiveness? Understanding?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin gets to think about Thranduil as a person with faults and emotions not just a villain. Also Balin finds the flower.

Most everyone filed out of the room, dispersing in all directions. It really didn't bode well that not just the dwarrow were upset and thoughtful, though quiet dwarves seemed a terrible thing all on their own. Bilbo had never seen his family look like that, not even after they'd fought Azog and his minions. He decided it would be best to ask someone where the library was, maybe if he was lucky there would be a book on how to kill dragons and it would be large with lots of options. Bilbo sighed, his hopes for the day pretty much gone. 

 

**

Thorin didn't really know where he was going, just away from the meeting, away from Him. Surely Thranduil was an evil, cold hearted, dwarf hater, right? He couldn't have cared about the dwarrow dying, he left them to be attacked, he watched the dragon delve into the mountain and did nothing. Thorin would have sent help, he would have saved others, wouldn't he? Surely he wouldn't have watched as a dragon destroyed lives, he would have ordered his kin to attack even though there is little hope to kill the dragon and they probably all would have died. Hmmm well maybe he could see not attacking the dragon but he would have at least offered food and shelter to those displaced, though if Thranduil had offered assistance he would probably have told him to shove his 'help' up somewhere impolite. No it just wasn't right, his mother and grandmother never made it out, Thranduil couldn't have done the responsible thing. 

 

**

Balin was surprised, to say the least. Never had he heard that dragons woke. Though to be fair all he ever heard of dragons were tails of horror and triumph nothing about what happened if you stayed near the dragon's new lair. If they ever retook Erebor he would make sure that dragons were researched and any bit of information that could be found would be bound together in guide, just in case. Bilbo would probably be a good option, he seemed well versed in reasearch and making conclusions based on facts. He decided it would be best to find Bilbo and see what else he knew about dragons. When Balin looked up he was utterly flabbergasted. There it was the flower that Thorin's mother used to grow, the flower that Bilbo was looking for. "Excuse me," he called to a passing elf "Can you tell me what that is called." The elf looked confused for a bit (She?) probably didn't have dwarves asking about flowers very frequently. "Hibiscus." Balin nodded, he remembered that now, Thorin's mother grew it to make a tea. He really needed to find Bilbo now.


	7. Can You Cool A Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo may have found an answer to their little problem, maybe. Also I have no idea how to write for the dwarves, they tend to use abbreviated words and things like laddie and stuff but I am not going to do that, it comes out really bad. Also was looking around google and really couldn't find anything on the explosives they used in the movie.

If anyone ever asked or mentioned the very undignified, high pitched, LOUD squeak he produced when he read the passage, he would deny it and think of many ways for revenge. After all Bilbo was a gentlehobbit and hobbits did not make noises like that, absolutely not. Though he may have left a few knocked down books and an overturned chair in his wake but really who could blame him, he had possibly just found a way to deal with the dragon. 

Bilbo burst back into the conference room wildly waving a thin journal. "Call everyone back," he huffed "Especially Oin. I think I've found it!" 

There was a flurry of activity, the elf who had stayed with Thranduil running to the door calling for more to deliver the summons and rather quickly the room began to fill again. 

When Oin, Gloin, and Balin entered (the last to arrive) Thranduil bid Bilbo to explain. "How do you make a tincture to strengthen the potency of the herb?" Bilbo directed at Oin. 

"Well you need a good strong alcohol, the stronger the alcohol the stronger the tincture. You also need the herbs of course, dried is best, and a warm place to keep the bottles. They have to be shaken everyday for the first two weeks but shaking them everyday for the next two weeks as well helps. It takes about four weeks for the tincture to be ready. Why do you ask lad?" Oin, who had put his hearing horn down while he talked picked it back up. 

BIlbo grinned, "King Thranduil, do you have someone here who would know what kinds of herbs and dried plants you have?" At Thranduil's nod and gesture towards a few elves Bilbo directed his next question to them "Would you happen to have dried hibiscus and linden leaf?" 

"Of course Master Hobbit, they are very useful for treating fevers." Answered an elf towards the back. "What need would you have of them."

BIlbo's grin got even wider "It is suggested in this journal that perhaps a dragon could be killed if it is cooled. I looked at another tome on healing under fevers and came across both hibiscus and linden leaf, cooling herbs that are used for fevers and in general to cool one down during warm weather. So what if we make the strongest tinctures we can with them?" Here Bilbo's grin slipped "The only problem I have is trying to figure out how to get Smaug to drink it. I don't think just a small amount would work either and I doubt I could waltz in there and offer him a cup of tea." There were a few amused twitched of lips at the image of the little hobbit strolling in to Erebor offering Smaug a little cup of tea.

"You could make a shell." Ori spoke up, a bit hesitantly, "Dwarves used to make mixtures that you would put into a thin clay shell and lit before being thrown. Maybe we could make the thin shells and fill them with tincture and throw it into Smaug's maw if he goes to breath fire." 

Plans were soon made, dwarrow and elves working together to make the thinnest clay shells and the strongest tinctures using everclear and a one to one ratio of herbs to alcohol. They devised the best place to put the tincture to keep it warm while the herbs were being extracted but not let it get hot. More permanent guest quarters were set up for the dwarrow as it seemed the next four weeks were going to spent planning how to get rid of the dragon and looking for any mention of black arrows, or indeed any actual black arrows, in case Bilbo's plan did not work. It had been many an age since such collaboration had been seen.


	8. Leaving Mirkwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We'll see how it goes since Thorin has been avoiding Thranduil. Also some Kiliel

Slightly over four weeks after the meeting they had large jugs of the strongest tincture they could make and the thinnest clay shells possible. Soldiers were assembled and the two black arrows from the back of the armory were packed with the tincture. The weeks had been spent gathering supplies and volunteers and at Bilbo's insistence making a smelly liquid out of juniper to mask his scent and the scent of the dwarves. Ori had been in charge of helping the rest of the dwarrow (and a few elves) make and practice, with very heavy metal shells around the same size as the ones being made of clay, aiming with slingshots. After much discussion and a few demonstrations of elves trying to attach clay balls to arrow shafts and shot them and dwarrow trying to throw some by hand and Ori and Bilbo explaining then finally showing how the slingshots were the best option for projecting the shells with any amount of accuracy and speed. 

Unfortunately for Thorin, during that time, Kili was able to befriend (and start making a courting gift for) Tauriel, the captain of Thranduil's guard. Also the blond offspring of Thranduil. He was there being friendly with the nephews, Ori (who should have known better) and Tauriel. Thorin was not happy, doubly unhappy when he found out those five were the best with the slingshot and demanding to go in with BIlbo. Dori also was NOT happy, Ori was his baby brother, no way he should be planning to confront a dragon. Much mothering, worrying, and indeed arguments could be heard from the Ri brothers room after the plan the quints had made was (reluctantly) agreed to by both rulers. 

At least the addition of quite a few Elven soldiers made the rest of the way out of Mirkwood less dangerous. Though they did still have to get rid of a few nests of giant spiders, really why they couldn't just stay a decent size was beyond Bilbo. Plus the elves actually knew a quicker way through without having to stay on the path. Bombur would argue that the main good of the elves were carts of provisions. He really didn't want to start running out of food again. 

By the time the group got to Laketown, where they had agreed to rest and leave a small contingent of the elves to take the black arrows to arm the windlance and help with an evacuation of any who wanted to leave, there were many friendships between elves and dwarves. Most surprising of all was the friendship between one hot headed dwarf named Gloin and one calm elf named Legolas. Most of the company had thought that Gloin would never trust or even begrudgingly like any elf but in truth all it had taken was a simple question about Gloin's locket and a large amount of genuine interest in the stories that followed on Legolas's part. Thorin was at least attempting to get to know Tauriel and accept that she would be his niece if Kili had his way, and with those puppy eyes of his it was likely he would. Bilbo was thrilled, he got to learn more about elves, which also delighted Ori who trailed after Bilbo with an open notebook any time he approached an elf. It was also very pleasing to Bilbo, future consort of Erebor thank you very much, to see the different races not just working together but actually forming friendships, now if only he could get the men to join in. 

Balin remembered that he forgot to tell Bilbo that the hibiscus was the flower he needed when they were halfway up the stairs to the hidden door. Bilbo of course was rather dismayed that he had been within reach of the very flowers that he needed to give Thorin, he really wanted to do more than hold hands but hobbit customs dictate that one must give their acceptance flower before making out could occur. Much to Balin's confusion Bilbo slowed down in order to talk to Bifur, who surprisingly was benefiting the most from the elven companions as a number of them actually knew ancient Khuzdul, they were admittedly a bit rusty but that didn't matter much. After some hushed words on Bilbo's part and a number of glances from both to where Thorin was walking with his niece (no point in denying it) and nephews which now included Ori and Legolas (he didn't have much choice anyway as Bilbo has claimed them all), an affirmative gesture was given from Bifur and a brilliant smile from Bilbo. 

As they were a day early, the rest of the day, much of the night, and most of the next day was spent finding strategic spots around the front gate for the other slingshot trained persons, just in case, and filling clay shells with tincture. It was right before lunch on Durins day that Bifur called to Bilbo and handed him something. BIlbo promptly marched over to Thorin and handed him a lovely carving of a hibiscus before pulling him down for a kiss that had their niece and nephews blushing and turning away and most of the rest of the company whistling and hooting, even the elves.


	9. Smaug the Sniffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into the horde they go.

The make out session was not as long as either would have liked, but alas there was still a dragon to deal with, and to many observers. 

There was a last minute scramble as the sun started to set. Bilbo and his family doused themselves liberally with the juniper, all of their noses hurt from the potent smell, which would hopefully render the stronger sniffer of the dragon completely useless. Cooling bombs were passed around to everyone and the key was produced. It was quite a tense wait once there was no more preparation to do. They all knew that a dragon was at the end of this and that was a enough to make conversation stilted and hushed. When at last the keyhole appeared Thorin approached cautiously and turned the key. The door opened quite easily and quietly much to everyone's surprise. 

The sixteen that were going in entered carefully, Thorin in the lead with Bilbo. When the treasure hall was seen most of them were utterly flabbergasted, they had never seen so much shiny things together, only Thorin and Balin had been there after the hoard had been mostly amassed. 

"Ah...Thorin? There seems to be a bit of a problem." Bilbo whispered as he looked around. 

The company looked at him and Nori mumbled "If you left your damn handkerchief outside we're not going back for it."   
There were a few smirks at that and two very confused faces. 

"No no I'd just use you if I needed one," Bilbo flapped his hand in Nori's direction "The problem I am referring to is the lack of a dragon."

"Oh" was the collective whisper. That was a pretty big problem. Though they should have known better than to worry about it. As they looked about mounds of gold started to shift and soon enough Smaug was there. 

He raised his head and drew in a large breath, then promptly screamed as he tried to claw at his nose. "Well at least the Juniper's working" Dwalin muttered, unfortunately drawing Smaug's attention. The situation descended into chaos after that. Dwarrow, elves, and a hobbit diving every which way lobbing cooling bombs every time Smaug opened his mouth and dodging claws and tail. They were lucky enough that the tincture seemed to keep Smaug from blowing fire but it didn't seem to do much else. Bilbo was beginning to tire when Smaug roared and swung at him. Luckily for him Kili and Tauriel had reached a vantage point on top of a pillar and were able to shoot arrows into the dragon's eyes, unluckily for him he was still hit by a large paw and sent flying into the wall. 

Bilbo woke to a number of concerned stares and a very sore head. The fight with Smaug had lasted but a few minutes past his impromptu travel across the hall. Thorin was able to see the lose scale and rammed Orcrist into the heart, earning a dislocated shoulder and possible broken ribs from Smaug's flailing. 

"I suppose we should let everyone know that it's safe now." Ori the ever practical one said. 

"Aye, you lot go tell the others, Thorin and Bilbo will stay with me for examination. The rest of you will be looked after once we've set a camp." Oin waved them off.

Bilbo was bandaged and Thorin had his shoulder set and his ribs wrapped before Oin would let them wander off to find a good camping spot. Soon Erebor echoed with laughter and chatter and songs. The first joyful sounds she had heard in many years. 

"We are home. Welcome to Our home Bilbo." Thorin whispered into the hobbits curls. 

"Yes Our home." Bilbo sighed contentedly, looking around at their family and friends, "It's beautiful." 

 

Of course they still had issues, killing the dragon wasn't the end but the beginning. Treaties were made, Dale and Erebor rebuilt, and a few weddings were had once Thorin's dwarves made it home. Thorin himself was quite baffled at the mix that was those he treasured, he never would have imagined counting elves and a hobbit kin and from Gloin's yelling he might lose one of those elven kin. Luckily for Legolas Gimli could hold his own against his father in a shouting match. Yes their home was a beautiful mess and Thorin wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
